What do you think of being seen as good, like happy-looking photos on a SNS from a day at a nice restaurant? Do you feel insecure when you catch your dark or bad side and then do not express your honest feelings? There is a depression that can come from everyday life, such as family problems, compulsions for appearance, or comparisons with friends. Some current hit books are about one’s whole life and how to comfort a weary mind. Among them is a best-selling book that has been officially published because of a method of sincere conversation. Introducing the Depression Treatment Essay, "I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki".

This book is a 12-week treatment record of a writer’s discussion with a psychiatric doctor. The writer is suffering from mood disorders (unlike major depressive disorder with severe depressive symptoms, mild depressive symptoms persist). Counseling contents are described in a conversational format, so that psychiatric hospitals are not seen as a place for only people with mental illnesses or serious conditions, but also those who are tired of their lives and have difficulty in their minds. Everyone can receive counseling, comfort, and treatment. This book also focuses on finding the root cause of mental illness and moving your mind in a healthy direction through specific situations rather than solving only dark emotions. Author Baek Se-hee has been practicing medication and counseling for many years. And her favorite food is tteokbokki. The author laughs at the jokes of friends even in a gloomy moments, and goes to eat tteokbokki because she is hungry even if she feels empty in her heart. The book’s title introduces that tteokbokki is easing her spirits.

There is an impressive quote from the book, "The Perfect Day," by Mattan Paju, "If you want to be happy, you should not be afraid of the following facts and accept it in advance. We are always unhappy, and there is always a reason for our sorrows, bitterness, and fear. I cannot feel these emotions separately”. The author feels longing when she wonders why people are not honestly revealing their condition. So instead of looking for such people, she becomes a person who expresses her feelings directly. In the appendix section of the book, "Mindfulness of Melancholy", she shares her emotions and feelings with the readers by describing all the minor emotions that can be experienced.

The author responds to a difficult situation with black and white logic, and the psychiatrist makes an attempt to play it. This book is not a psychological book that is deeply interpret depression or mood disorders. It is not a self-help booklet that suggests a solution. But through the author's frank conversation, we can look at our own problems, and find comfort and answers in warm words.

There are some people who are seemingly fine but who are sick. There are also people around you who do not understand depression because they think the world is focusing on only too bright or too dark areas. But in this book, you can listen to another voice that says, 'I am not the only one' and 'There are other people like me in the world'. “If your day is not perfect, or if you feel depressed all day, there is hope that you can laugh at the little things. Even when the author wants to die, eating tteokbokki is on the author’s mind. Maybe it is possible to approach the hearts of others without selfishness by expressing good and bad feelings throughout such a day. Try to walk your own way in life.

▲ "To reveal the dark side is one way I am going to free myself. I hope my precious people to know that this is also the real me” (In the book content)

By Lee Yeon-ju, reporter  rosielee@kakao.com

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